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I guess I had a weak psyche. Because I had a talent for computers, my department pointed at me and said...you're our new forensics guy. I was trained up by the feds and then viewed hundreds/thousands images/videos a day. Six months in I stopped bringing my gun to arrests. I didn't want to kill the pedophile. People noticed, but nothing was said. After all, cops are tough. BobbieNYC is right."..you don't want to look weak in front of your peers", but you especially don't want to tell yourself that you're weak. So you suck it up.
10 months in I asked to be mandated to EAP counseling asap. The chief refused, saying it would be a negative blotch on my career record. Essentially, 'Man up'. 'Take a short vacation and you'll be ok'. I tried. Came back for a couple days and went out per the department physician. Never went back. I was placed on workers comp. The department never fought it, just 'give it to him'. PTSD and Major Depression. nightmares, aggression, pills to put me to sleep, pills to wake me up.
If you think that CP might affect you, you're probably right. If you take the forensics position, talk to someone regularly. It won't be your wife or friends because how can you describe CP to regular folk? Find a professional, but be honest and make regular appts. One appt. every year wouldn't have helped me.
Coping Strategies
Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 NextRe: Coping Strategies
Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2011 9:26 pm
5 years and never visited a doctor. I have no clue if it has effected me or my co workers. I really don't think it hasn't. Many videos in succession can be painful so as others mentioned I take a break from the case.
I will say I do find it odd when someone in my line of work has issues when dealing with an investigation that deals with CP images. I think it's just par for the course of what we do.
Oddly enough a friend of mine mentioned that there was a talk at DefCon about the psychology of CP and computer forensics. The nutshell was it takes about 2 years to be a proficient examiner and it takes just about that amount of time to have psychological issues related to that type of work.
Who knows really, each person has his or her own psyche. What can completely overwhelm some is just a road bump for others. I do think you have to be honest with yourself and admit if you can't deal with it. I think the issue comes in when you don't want to look weak in front of your peers.
I will say I do find it odd when someone in my line of work has issues when dealing with an investigation that deals with CP images. I think it's just par for the course of what we do.
Oddly enough a friend of mine mentioned that there was a talk at DefCon about the psychology of CP and computer forensics. The nutshell was it takes about 2 years to be a proficient examiner and it takes just about that amount of time to have psychological issues related to that type of work.
Who knows really, each person has his or her own psyche. What can completely overwhelm some is just a road bump for others. I do think you have to be honest with yourself and admit if you can't deal with it. I think the issue comes in when you don't want to look weak in front of your peers.
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Bobbynyc - Member
Re: Coping Strategies
Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 2:11 pm
- Bobbynyc
Who knows really, each person has his or her own psyche. What can completely overwhelm some is just a road bump for others. I do think you have to be honest with yourself and admit if you can't deal with it. I think the issue comes in when you don't want to look weak in front of your peers.
I guess I had a weak psyche. Because I had a talent for computers, my department pointed at me and said...you're our new forensics guy. I was trained up by the feds and then viewed hundreds/thousands images/videos a day. Six months in I stopped bringing my gun to arrests. I didn't want to kill the pedophile. People noticed, but nothing was said. After all, cops are tough. BobbieNYC is right."..you don't want to look weak in front of your peers", but you especially don't want to tell yourself that you're weak. So you suck it up.
10 months in I asked to be mandated to EAP counseling asap. The chief refused, saying it would be a negative blotch on my career record. Essentially, 'Man up'. 'Take a short vacation and you'll be ok'. I tried. Came back for a couple days and went out per the department physician. Never went back. I was placed on workers comp. The department never fought it, just 'give it to him'. PTSD and Major Depression. nightmares, aggression, pills to put me to sleep, pills to wake me up.
If you think that CP might affect you, you're probably right. If you take the forensics position, talk to someone regularly. It won't be your wife or friends because how can you describe CP to regular folk? Find a professional, but be honest and make regular appts. One appt. every year wouldn't have helped me.
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t3chb0y - Newbie
Re: Coping Strategies
Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 3:48 pm
Good post and good advice, t3chb0y. Thank you.
_________________
Jamie Morris
Forensic Focus
Web: www.forensicfocus.com
Twitter: twitter.com/ForensicFocus
Facebook: www.facebook.com/forensicfocus
_________________
Jamie Morris
Forensic Focus
Web: www.forensicfocus.com
Twitter: twitter.com/ForensicFocus
Facebook: www.facebook.com/forensicfocus
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jamie - Site Admin
Re: Coping Strategies
Posted: Sun Aug 28, 2011 1:52 pm
Can someone tell me what CP stands for? I'm a little new to this. Thanks.
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suegiff - Newbie
Re: Coping Strategies
Posted: Sun Aug 28, 2011 1:54 pm
Ok....CP is probably child pornography, right? and CF would be ??
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suegiff - Newbie
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jamie - Site Admin
Re: Coping Strategies
Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 1:33 am
t3chb0y excellent post.
After reading all the above comments, I have changed my opinion, i always have the attitude "nothing bothers me" soon as foot steps out of the office all is forgotten but it can only be beneficially to have someone to talk to that isnt a friend or colleague and hopefully later in life (am a young pup or so i would like to believe) things don't come back to haunt me.
This thread really helpful. Thanks
After reading all the above comments, I have changed my opinion, i always have the attitude "nothing bothers me" soon as foot steps out of the office all is forgotten but it can only be beneficially to have someone to talk to that isnt a friend or colleague and hopefully later in life (am a young pup or so i would like to believe) things don't come back to haunt me.
This thread really helpful. Thanks
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chrisdavies - Senior Member