For fun - What is it like being a DF investigator?

It's pretty much the best job in the world. You've seen CSI, right? It's just like that, but a lot more dangerous and way more chicks, if you know what I mean. I'm kind of a big deal.

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Could tell you, but then I'd have to erase you - forever.

Being able to read joethomas's comment without any calculator or other reference - ie life is actually never tedious.

Like running up a hill carrying three bags, and every time you think you've got to the top you find it's just a plateau with a few more bags to carry and a few more miles further up to go….
or
I'll tell you when i've finished my first job, i'm just waiting for EnCase to finish indexing…….

(just noticed how bitter and twisted those two make me sound! p )

Hexcellent )

I can only express the feelings through the medium of interpretative dance.

This dance is often simply interpreted as me wanting to emboss my keyboard into my forehead.

Great start -) Some further guidance…

Imagine that you're at a bar (or "dinner party" for those over 40 with kids) and you're trying to impress someone by telling them what it's like being a DF investigator. Who would you compare yourself to in a famous movie or TV series?

Alternatively, if you wanted to evoke some sympathy because you felt some aspects of the job weren't all that glamorous (or you were overworked, underpaid etc.), which movie character's role or situation would you use as a comparison (e.g. "Do you remember that bit in Star Wars when…<something happened>…that's what my job is like."

Being a corporate digital forensics investigator is like being a janitor.

Everyone knows you are around.

Most shun you because they either do not know what you do most of the time, or consider what you do some weird occupation.

Everyone looks at you when you walk by, but no one ever sees you . . . until . . . someone smashes the coffee pot, and there is a giant mess in the cafeteria.

Then, you are called, with the utmost urgency by four vice presidents, three senior counsels, two compliance officers, and one partridge in a pear tree.

You bring out tools and equipment that look odd to most, and no one really wants to touch or take responsibility for.

Once you are done cleaning up the mess, you have to file a long list reasons why and how you performed the clean up, what chemicals you used, where you dumped the mess, and where you stored the bucket and mob before, during and after the cleanup. Do not forget to attach a copy of the chemicals' content label to your report.

The four vice presidents, three senior counsels, and two compliance officers will question every little thing and point out that you missed a spot on the hallway (irrelevant that the hallway was "out of scope"). They will give their most recent in-flight-magazine expertise on how you should have done it in 3 minutes instead of the 15 minutes.

When you point out that most of the tools you use is either open source, freeware, or you personally own suddenly you are left alone, holding the broken coffee pot.

The partridge, being of the family Phasianidae, could not care less, she just wanted to be in the chorus, clucking above her pay-grade.

p.s. the coffee pot comes out of your budget, since you touched it last . . .