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For fun - What is it like being a DF investigator?

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(@benuk)
Trusted Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 45
 

I get paid to snoop in other people's computers. I'm living the dream, man!


   
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(@rich2005)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 541
 

Mr Morgan, I have been informed the CPS barrister is not equipped to deal with interpretative dance. He has requested that you provide printed A4 copies of the dance.


   
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(@angrybadger)
Estimable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 164
 

Mr Morgan, I have been informed the CPS barrister is not equipped to deal with interpretative dance. He has requested that you provide printed A4 copies of the dance.

really? the full dance is 30 minutes long (that how long the drugs take to kick in)
At 25fps that's about 45000 pages.


   
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(@patrick4n6)
Honorable Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 650
 

Smartest guy in the multidisciplinary investigative team, lowest guy on the totem pole.


   
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kiashi
(@kiashi)
Trusted Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 99
 

I often say I'm like Abby out of NCIS only without the Fingerprints, Balistics, DNA, Blood, Fibre & Footprint Analysis! Not to mention that I lack her Zoology, Geology, Geography, Metallurgy and general Chemistry knowledge….hang on, why doesn't she just do the Autopsies as well??


   
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(@rich2005)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 541
 

Mr Morgan, I have been informed the CPS barrister is not equipped to deal with interpretative dance. He has requested that you provide printed A4 copies of the dance.

really? the full dance is 30 minutes long (that how long the drugs take to kick in)
At 25fps that's about 45000 pages.

Yes, apparently those 45000 pages will be much clearer than showing a video of the dance itself, and he steadfastly refutes any suggestion that it's because he's paid by the page.


   
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(@angrybadger)
Estimable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 164
 

I often say I'm like Abby out of NCIS only without the Fingerprints, Balistics, DNA, Blood, Fibre & Footprint Analysis! Not to mention that I lack her Zoology, Geology, Geography, Metallurgy and general Chemistry knowledge….hang on, why doesn't she just do the Autopsies as well??

I'm like the IT version of Dexter.


   
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(@angrybadger)
Estimable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 164
 

Mr Morgan, I have been informed the CPS barrister is not equipped to deal with interpretative dance. He has requested that you provide printed A4 copies of the dance.

really? the full dance is 30 minutes long (that how long the drugs take to kick in)
At 25fps that's about 45000 pages.

Yes, apparently those 45000 pages will be much clearer than showing a video of the dance itself, and he steadfastly refutes any suggestion that it's because he's paid by the page.

Such cynicism!


   
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(@joethomas)
Trusted Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 65
 

It's just like this Zoom & Enhance


   
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(@couchie)
Active Member
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 10
 

Well, thanks to all of my highly skilled training, and access to all the information around the world, I can pinpoint an IP address on the other side of the state within about 2.3 seconds by merely tapping a few random keys on my keyboard! Not to mention that should I need to find out who your third cousin's dog's veterinarian is.. .well that will take me about 3.5 seconds. Only then can I give you the veterinarian's room mate in college from 19 years ago and a picture of the room mate's tattoo on his left b**t cheek.

But on a slow day, I spend my time taking 5 minutes to log what I do in 30 seconds. Repeat last sentence.


   
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